Sisterhood of the Useless Degrees

The Tool Shed: Patrick Dempsey

Posted on: February 29, 2008

FeministDonut: Patrick, how do we hate thee? Let us count the ways…

slb: Is this the magazine issue we used to prop up on our couch and talk to, while watching him on Grey’s Anatomy:

or was it another magazine? Remember? We kept it for over a year. Right up until we started hating him. I don’t even remember how it began…. Was it the McDreamy character?

FD: No, I think he was smiling and more casually dressed on our cover.

slb: Yeah, you’re right. It was this one:

FD: Yup.

slb: I think what burns me up most about Patrick Dempsey is that you’d think he’d be more humble after his fifteen years of obscurity. And the embarrassing films on which he cut his teeth in the first place. But no. One year of being McDreamy and he totally started coming across as a smug, entitled jerk.

FD: Yeah. I can’t stand that. He thinks he’s McDreamy in real life, and the sick thing is that people treat him like that in reality, too. (Like Oprah.) *gag*

FD: I also have a problem with the fact that he thinks Derek is such a great, ethical guy, when in fact, he treats Meredith like shit all. the. time.

slb: He treats everybody on the show that way. You’d think he’d be mentoring someone by now, but he’s so self-absorbed. So to emulate this character in life or to admire him or whatever… like, “Yes, I’m playing quite the paragon of virtue on that show, aren’t I?” is just… insane, really.

FD: Yeah. Look at this: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20038514,00.html.

slb: The only time he should be asking himself if Derek Shepard would do something is to determine that he should do the opposite.
FD: LOL, right?

slb: That show is full of obnoxious people.

FD: It really is. Even Sandra Oh, and really used to like Sandra.

slb: Except Justin Chambers. Massimo is kind of awesome.

FD: Yeah, he’s awesome.
slb: Too bad about his sleep deficiency.

FD: Yeah.

slb: He’s probably thinking about having to wake up and go to work with the rest of these losers.

FD: LOL, I know. It’s a cast full of self-absorbed people. And self-absorbed Shonda.

slb: Back before Patrick Dempsey became a tool… He had this recurring guest spot on Once and Again as the schizophrenic brother of Sela Ward. Aaron was his name. I fell in love with him then. He was amazing. It was this singular era in time when he exercised some depth and versatility instead of relying on his hair to act for him.

FD: LOL

slb: Why couldn’t he have gone that way when it was time to make a real comeback? Why’d he have to reach for the old heartthrob days of yore? … Although he looks way, way better than he did in his old heartthrob days.

FD: True. But the toolishness detracts from the heartthrobness.

slb: Yeah. Also: my personal conspiracy theory is that he’s more culpable in that whole Washington/Knight beef than was ever discovered. He soooo precipitated that. Or fed it.

FD: Haaa! I can see that.

slb: And then he was the first one on TV after Isaiah was fired like, “Oh, we get along MUCH better now! The cast is as ONE.” Like, what a pretentious windbag.

FD: I know. That was disgusting.

slb: Hinting at himself as the unifier of the cast. Ugh.

FD: He’s so gross. We used to be so in love with him.

slb: Heh. I know. We’re such haters now.

FD: lol

slb: How quickly our hearts turn.

FD: Well you can’t keep on loving someone who just acts like a jerk all the time. His toolishness is everywhere. Right down to the stage at the Oscars.

slb: I know.

FD: Why was he even presenting?

slb: Oh, no. Not the Oscars.

FD: He didn’t need to be there.

slb: Yes he did. Because his ‘delightful’ film had not one, but three numbers being performed. And he just HAD to introduce at least one of them.

FD: But he wasn’t performing any of them.

slb: … since they were all about him and all.

FD: So he didn’t need to be there.

slb: They were being sung in his honor, FD. lol

FD: He was just there to show off his hair. He wasn’t dancing that last number…

slb: … because he was introducing it.

FD: LOL. I’m hatin’ on that one. Stupid Disney.

slb: And to hear once again about how awesome he is.

FD: I can’t deal. Stupid faux-graciousness.

slb: And how you can know that you’re in love with him (“That’s How You Know”) And how sad the princess was not be “So Close Yet So Far” from his strapping arms and raven tresses. Or whatever.

FD: Ew. Gag.

slb: Dude. If I were her, I SO would’ve chosen James Marsden. I don’t need to see the movie to know I’d rather have James than Patrick.

FD: I know. Same here. And I don’t even like James. lol

slb: Yeah, me either.

FD: He’s like the go-to shmuck when it comes to casting.

slb: I know. Even so. It’s like with the Wedding Planner. It didn’t take much to know I’d rather have Massimo than “Dr. freakin’ Steve.”

FD: Same here!

slb: Dr. “This man is a protektor” Steve…

FD: That line is so stupid.

slb: Okay, we’re off topic.

FD: Yeah.

slb: I guess the bottom-line is: Welcome to the Tool Shed, Patrick Dempsey. You and David Duchovny enjoy yourselves in there.

3 Responses to "The Tool Shed: Patrick Dempsey"

Bitches!!!

Yeah. We know.

Dewlap says : I absolutely agree with this !

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