Sisterhood of the Useless Degrees

Why?  WhyWHY?

Yes, there will be a Friends movie.  No, I will not be watching that train wreck.  I already got my fill of upper middle-class, white New Yorkers and their cutesy racist attitudes on the last go round, thankyouverymuch.

And honestly, what’s the point?  Do people really need to see what Ross and Rachael are doing ten billion years after the show ended?  Does Jennifer Aniston really need another shitty movie on her resume?  The woman attracts bad scripts like flies on poo.

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Could you please hold off on announcing your pending new arrival until you’re starting to show? This is what normal expectant mothers tend to do. Aside from announcements to close family and friends, they like holding off on telling the general public that they’re expecting until the end of the first trimester or so.

See, if you wait three months, then we don’t have to spend a whole nine inundated with pictures of you buying really big frozen cappuccinos while some toolish journalist speculates on the possible effects of your caffeine intact on your unborn child.

It also means that, by the time you start showing, we aren’t already so sick of the “countdown to Baby Whatever” that we involuntarily gag whenever we see your Baby Bump. More…

Another stupid celeb child name for the record books. 

Sigh.  Oh, Jamie Lynne…

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Granted, I have this decade-long thing against him for giving “Achy-Breaky Heart” to the world.  But his reaction to the whole Miley Little Nepotizz Cyrus brouhaha over the Annie Leibovitz photos is disturbing.

Today he finally broke his silence on the Today show (or went slightly beyond his “I didn’t know” bullshit, at least).

“I didn’t know they were going to strip her down and wrap her in a blanket,” Cyrus, appearing to promote his NBC show Nashville Star, told show anchor Meredith Vieira. Of the seemingly topless shot of his daughter, he said, “I was surprised when I saw it … but, hey, that’s life. Stuff happens.”

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Scarlett Johansson sucks.  Period.  This magazine cover right here?  This more or less proves it.

scarlett johansson paste magazine cover

Putting aside the awful hair and alienesque pose that makes her look like a female Thom Yorke (and the fact that she spells her name with two Ts), the “My Five Dads” bullshit just kills it.

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I spent about two hours today watching three episodes of ABC’s midseason series, Miss Guided. I don’t know why. It stars Judy Greer, and I’ve never liked Judy Greer in anything I’ve watched her in, but whatever; I watched it.

Here’s my hypothesis: this show’s getting canceled after eight eps, if that. It reminds me of those Disney sitcoms, circa Lizzie McGuire (not those unwatchable, brain-cell-deadening ones they’ve got now [The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, I’m looking at you.], but the ones you could kind of get through, if you were super-bored, and emerge unscathed and slightly amused)…. Where was I? Oh, okay, yeah: this show sucks. It’s like a bad knock-off of Never Been Kissed (if such a thing can even be imagined), without the plucky, cutesy, do-no-harm appeal of Drew Barrymore.

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