What a Bitch: Scarlett Johansson
Posted on: May 8, 2008
Scarlett Johansson sucks. Period. This magazine cover right here? This more or less proves it.
Putting aside the awful hair and alienesque pose that makes her look like a female Thom Yorke (and the fact that she spells her name with two Ts), the “My Five Dads” bullshit just kills it.
I spent about two hours today watching three episodes of ABC’s midseason series, Miss Guided. I don’t know why. It stars Judy Greer, and I’ve never liked Judy Greer in anything I’ve watched her in, but whatever; I watched it.
Here’s my hypothesis: this show’s getting canceled after eight eps, if that. It reminds me of those Disney sitcoms, circa Lizzie McGuire (not those unwatchable, brain-cell-deadening ones they’ve got now [The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, I’m looking at you.], but the ones you could kind of get through, if you were super-bored, and emerge unscathed and slightly amused)…. Where was I? Oh, okay, yeah: this show sucks. It’s like a bad knock-off of Never Been Kissed (if such a thing can even be imagined), without the plucky, cutesy, do-no-harm appeal of Drew Barrymore.
On why I hate tabloids
Posted on: March 15, 2008
How is this sexy?
Posted on: March 5, 2008
Sure, the ad itself is a throwback to old Hollywood glamour, but is anyone else tired of the squinty-eyed, pouty expressions on “starlets” these days?
The Tool Shed: Patrick Dempsey
Posted on: February 29, 2008
FeministDonut: Patrick, how do we hate thee? Let us count the ways…
slb: Is this the magazine issue we used to prop up on our couch and talk to, while watching him on Grey’s Anatomy:
or was it another magazine? Remember? We kept it for over a year. Right up until we started hating him. I don’t even remember how it began…. Was it the McDreamy character?
FD: No, I think he was smiling and more casually dressed on our cover.
slb: Yeah, you’re right. It was this one:
FD: Yup.
slb: I think what burns me up most about Patrick Dempsey is that you’d think he’d be more humble after his fifteen years of obscurity. And the embarrassing films on which he cut his teeth in the first place. But no. One year of being McDreamy and he totally started coming across as a smug, entitled jerk.
What a Bitch: Mr. Oscar
Posted on: February 26, 2008
If you made it through the snorefest that was this years Oscar ceremony, you might have noticed that The Academy made a few glaring omissions in a couple of those “80 Years Of” montages:
After posing nude to recreate a Marilyn Monroe photo shoot, Lindsay Lohan recently spoke out and blamed The Industry on Heath Ledger’s death, saying “[Marilyn Monroe and Ledger] are both prime examples of what this industry can do to someone.” Then she got pissy with the interviewer, saying, “I’m not them … I sure as hell wouldn’t let it happen to me.”
slb: Okay. Why do we hate David Duchovny?
FeministDonut: Because of his face.
slb: I thought his face, too! That’s sick.
FD: LOL
What a Bitch: Katie Couric
Posted on: February 12, 2008
Cute Katie, real cute.
I just love when journalists perpetuate the sexist stereotypes. You don’t see the male candidates fielding questions like this. Miss Frigidaire?! Is she for real?!
What a Bitch: Jessica Alba
Posted on: February 8, 2008
I have a thing against Jessicas. They tend to be evil and obnoxious (apparently, I’m not alone in thinking this). Jessica Simpson used to be at the top of my Bitch List, but Jessica “The Calculating Bitch” Alba has since surpassed The Blonde Bimbo on my Feministdonut Bitch Scale.
Why all the vitriol, you ask?
Sisterhood of the Useless Degrees 